Turn Your Client Inquiries Into Clients!

Greetings!

Wow, it's been a long long time since I've posted here. I've been focusing on the counselling side of my services lately and am currently, in the middle of all sorts of 'business refurbishments'. If you want to check out what I've been up to visit the sites below:

www.lifechoices.net.au <-- Business Website

And here

www.shrinkthink.net <--- Blog Website

-- You can also add me here -- www.facebook.com/kyliejcoulter or subscribe to my FB pages

www.facebook.com/shrinkthink

www.facebook.com/lifechoicesonlinecounselling

Now that my shameless self-promotion is over, I have some awesome tips for you to turn your client inquiries into actual paying clients.

So, what have I found lately? Well, I have some good news andddd some bad news. The good news is that there's a whole bunch of ways to attract clients, but the bad news is that, unfortuantely, for the modern online therapist, we can't do things the old way. What do I mean? Well, we can't sit by and passively wait for clients to come to us anymore. Sure, we can advertise on Google, Yahoo, Facebook and use social media, but that still doesn't guarantee sign-ups. We need to use our smarts and hook our clients. This isn't manipulative, they want your help and you can help them. But the internet is full of ambiguity.

So how do you clarify the ambiguity?


1. Engage, Engage, Engage

I used to make the error of sending potential clients a whole bunch of information. They'd contact me by Skype, MSN, Email FB and what would I do? I'd respond to their personal contact by giving them links and documents. I should have just talked to them, right?
The last thing they wanted was to go to my website and read everything I had up there. Furthermore, it's the internet, long-winded informed consent documents and long client-cards will put your potential client off. You need to engage them. And how do you do this? Read on.

2. Use A Free Consultation Session

Pre-Consultation Session

As soon as any client shows interest in therapy with you, you need to book them in for a time to chat there and then. That's the first thing you do. No, don't say 'go to my website for more information'. You give them the information in the email/text-chat window/voice conversation. You don't add a document as an attachment to a long winded email and send it to them. If you're using email to reply, intially, make sure your email is formatted and everything is short and succinct. If you can, get them to chat for a very short time in text-chat or skype. They want to know they're talking to a person. They want to know you care. And they want to talk about what's bothering them get straight to the point with them, okay? Make sure it's not all business. Be empathic, compassionate, but you need them to commit to that first free consultation session (I recommend 15 - 30 mins). When you give them that free time of yours to listen to what they need, they will feel that sense that someone cares. And you do care, so show them that by giving them some of your time.

Consultation Session

FYI, consultation sessions are not a first session. This is purely a meet and greet where you discuss times, fees, and how you can help them. You can, if you want, administer a risk assessment and gather enough information on whether you can help them. But find ways to do this as quickly as possible. While you want to show them you're commited to helping them, you don't want to work for free. You deserve monetary rewards for your time. This consultation session is purely to encourage the client to committ to regular sessions.

Once you've secured your client for counselling, gather their client-card details.

3. Take Payment Beforehand to Secure Sessions

When I first started counselling online, my trust in my fellow human being had me making all sorts of mistakes. And I know this is phrased poorly, it’s not that we can’t trust our fellow human beings, it’s that sometimes ‘things happen’.One of the things that would happen is that clients would avoid paying me for a completed session long after that session had ended. Sometimes three weeks would go by and I would continue the sessions with clients, and they still hadn't paid. This is not a good situation for you or them. Clients need boundaries and you need reimbursement for your time. The solution is simple. You take payment upfront. If a client is a no show and has given you ample notice, you can reimburse them or forward that payment to the next session. But take payment upfront, it commits the client, it resolves any possible problems that can arise from lack of payment, and it makes the whole process smoother.

Expressing Yourself Accurately In Digital Mediums. *Gesticulates something ambiguous*

Morning all,

I hope you all had a wonderful X-mas and New Years. It's 2011 and I just can't believe how time flies. Well, my holidays were cut short due to the devastation caused by the QLD floods. Poor Queensland has endured mother natures worst recently -- especially after Cyclone Yasi hit the coast. Luckily, family and friends are safe.

So, the university year is about to begin, and this year I'm completing a thesis. The topic I have chosen to analyse is, surprise surprise, online communication. And this prompted me to write my first blog for 2011.
 This thesis will focus on asynchronous online communication (e-mailing) -- asychronous  means out of sync or not immediate. Philosophically speaking we can't be completely synchronous in communication anyway... but I'll leave that for another time. :-)

Everyday, thousands of people make errors when reading and writing an e-mail, writing a blog (please pull me up if you ever see any :-), posting on Myspace and Facebook or generally posting in forums. Accurately conveying a message is just as important, in the digital medium, as it is in the face-to-face medium; however, the digital medium, especially with text, requires a different skill set in the absence of non-verbal communication.

Let's just focus on e-mailing right now. Tell me, have you ever multi-tasked when writing an e-mail? What I mean is, are you flicking back and forward between websites, perhaps Facebooking (*tsk tsk*), when you're composing or reading an email? Do you re-read your composition over before you press send?

Well, congratulations if you do! If you don't, well don't beat yourself up, occasionally I do it too :) But here's a good reason why you should focus when communicating. Language is the closest we can become to being 'known' by another. We want other people to hear our point of view, to accurately understand our ideas, and to join with other people. It's the best  part about being human ... the ability to connect in complex and profound ways with other people.


To do this properly, you need to be a critic to yourself. Don't settle for average communication. It could be the difference between making an important connection, or not. Having a client choose your services, or not. Upsetting a friend, or not.


So here's a list of tips to make sure your messages are effectively composed, and that you accurately read other peoples messages.


Tips for composing your own message:

• Spell-checker, it's there so use it. :-)
  
• Punctuation! Very important. Not just for writers, but for anyone who wants to communicate effectively with others. 
• Express yourself! :-) *Poses like Michael Jackson and 'Woohoos' * -- Alright, it's not necessary to go this far. However, sometimes injecting a bit of yourself through, comprehendible, creativity helps the reader to understand the tone or context in which you sent the message. 
• Read your message out loud. Yes, you'll be amazed at how clunky some of your sentences will be. 
• Capitalise and use full-stops. We need to know where it starts and where it ends.
• A sentence is 15 - 20 words, not 100 words.
• If it's a very important e-mail, hire some fresh eyes by asking a spouse or friend to double-check it.
• Some words are better than others. If you think a sentence could sound better, change it. And importantly, don't be afraid to change it... editing is what great writing is all about.
• We live in an age of quick information sources so don't write a long winded e-mail. To-the-point e-mails are much more likely to be read accurately than those that don't.
• Emotionless subject area. Another way to ensure your e-mail is read accurately in the first place, is to keep emotion out of the subject line. Imagine how the reader will receive your message if the subject is: HOW DARE YOU!
• Before criticising someone's e-mail or post online, make sure you understand them first. It's easy to jump to conclusions that someone is ignorant or wrong, than to ask for clarification. You'll be surprised at how much people convey content, without meaning to. 
• DON'T USE ALL CAPITALS. It can be offensive to some people. If you want to put emphasis on a word, simply italicise or bold it. In FB chat you can bold something by putting two stars around a word like *this*. In e-mails you should have an italicise option.  

Reading Messages:

• Read the e-mail out loud to yourself. 
• If you aren't exactly sure what the message means, ask for clarification, or if it's an e-mail in a chain of back and forward replies, read earlier ones.
• Try to keep focused on the task at hand. If it's a very important e-mail you're reading, make sure there are few distractions around. 
• If you decide the person who sent you the e-mail is being nasty on purpose. Resolve it by ringing them, don't reply, or reply with dignity. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a puposeless flame war that ends up wasting time, offending others and simply ruining what could be an effective connection/friendship.

Here is a focused section devoted to therapeutic responses to e-mails.

Composing Clients Emails:

• Replying to a client's e-mail is often more effective if you address a paragraph at a time. Often you can receive anywhere from 500 to 2000 words from a client and it helps to segment those larger ones into sections. Put your writing or the client's writing in a darker or lighter shade to denote who's writing is who's. 

For example.

I've been having problems getting to sleep at night.

- How long has this been going on for? 

Sometimes I have bad dreams and I wake up and I can't get back to sleep because I'm so scared. 

- What are you scared of in particular?

This is just a short example, but if your client is already feeling overwhelmed, reading an e-mail can seem like a chore. Setting it out like this helps them to intuitively seperate a large message into smaller, tolerable chunks.


Receiving Clients E-mails:

• When reading your client's email, make sure there are no distractions, read it slowly and perhaps take notes if that helps. The first thing they're looking for is that you understand them. Understanding comes from 'hearing' their message right in the first place. (I close down all other programs on my computer and close my office door when dealing with client emails.)

This is just a small start to what it takes to communicate effectively in an online environment. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Enjoy your weekend!

Kylie Coulter

Away for Christmas

Hey all, 

I'm heading to northern Australia for Christmas so I'll be gone for the next two or so weeks. I will be back about the 8th of January and will be resuming blogs then. Unless I get so motivated I can't help but post a blog... it's possible :)

Wish you all a Merry Christmas and happy 2011!

Interview About my Work in SL.

Hey all,

Here's a link to a blog in which I was recently interviewed for.

Social Work Career Transition Blogger

I will be sharing stories about my career transition from marketing to the social work field.

By Dorleem.

Cheers, 

Kylie

Working Online? Take a Break!

Dear Readers,

I wanted to write something unrelated to therapy today. I suppose this is a more general issue and one that I'm still trying to get right myself, because it requires strict and consistent self-discipline. Online therapy, or any online business requires that operators sit at their desks for hours on end in front of softly humming LCD screens. When you own your own online service, it can be tempting to work endlessly and tirelessly in front of your computer. If you're a bit of a perfectionist like I am, you may find yourself feeling guilty or even insecure about taking a break from your work. At times I've found myself unable to leave my desk, but also not working... it's amazing what you can justify to yourself when you're procrastinating.

To start with, many people who run online businesses run them from home. At home your work is always available to you so this is where boundaries become so important. Anyone who has an occupation that requires sitting down for hours on end needs an exercise regime. Not only does exercise stimulate blood flow and reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, it increases higher cognitive functioning and releases endorphins. I'm sure you're all aware of the prevalence of obesity that has arisen from sedentary lifestyles in our society. Higher cognitive functions are related to memory, thinking and processing which is central to your job performance. Also, most creative and inspired ideas don't come to mind whilst sitting at your desk, so get outside and go for a walk.

On a side note, you're a therapist, while it's sometimes difficult to lead by example I do think it's important to believe in what you teach your clients and the best way to believe in your techniques and advice is to experience the evidence yourself.

I'm sure I don't need to delve into the physical benefits of regular breaks. When my study and counselling life began to demand that I sit at my desk for eight hours a day my eyesight deteriorated rapidly. I now require glasses when engaging people in conversation, driving and basically anytime I don't want fuzzy images more than an arms length in front of me. Furthermore, your back, neck and physical health in general will all suffer if you do not take breaks.

All these things seem to revolve around functional time management. Those who do not have good time management are usually unorganised, stressed-out, unfit and leading unhealthy lifestyles. It is important to prioritise and love yourself as much as you love your work. By love I mean taking care of yourself, eating right, taking time out to have fun, exercising, meditation, it all contributes to the productivity of your profession. Approach life holistically and you'll find you don't have to work those fourteen hour days when the quality of your work increases. Burnout is just as likely for online therapists as face-to-face therapists. The amount of empathy and energy needed to join with a client online can leave you feeling exhausted. Take breaks, journal, eat right (balanced diet) and exercise (at least 30 mins a day) and I guarantee you'll keep burnout at bay.

Now time for my morning meditation and exercise.

Getting Your Message Across in Second Life

Good morning, it's your usual chai-sipping bloggeress here :)

Firstly, I apologise for the size of the font, I wrote my blog up in Word and now it only allows me the choice now of 'Quick get your reading glasses!' and 'C'mon I'm not that blind!' 

This morning I wanted to talk about getting your intended message across to clients in Second Life (SL). Before we begin I want to share a quote with you.

             “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, 
              but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
                                    ~ Robert McCloskey~

Communication is tricky enough without the added pressure of not being able to see or hear another person, despite this online counselling works and perhaps in this blog we may discover some of the reasons for this. 

While there is some overlap between SL counselling and other text counselling I think SL has some advantages. The first one is that you can use 'visual aids'. Of course, sending a newly made file to a client over Windows Live Messenger (or any other chat application that you may be using) works nearly as well. 

The reason I'm such a fan of SL for visual aids, is because the amount of time it takes to drag a 'texture' from your inventory to a blank object is far quicker than sending a file over the internet. This works even better if you have a client that has already spent countless hours on SL and has fully immersed themselves in the experience. What do I mean? Well, when a client has started to identify through their avatar, they have also started to identify their avatar in the environmental context, this means that the environment has an impact on them indirectly, and a counsellor can use this to their advantage -- more on that another time.  

Some people argue that without the cues of body language and tone of voice, it’s simply not possible to provide effective therapy with only text; however, I tend to agree with John Suler on this.

“Despite the lack of face-face cues, conversing via text has evolved into

 a sophisticated, expressive art form. The effective clinician understands

 and attempts to master this art.” ~Online Counselling Handbook~

So let's list the tools we have at our disposal for getting our message across to clients. 

Text Chat, while appearing to be a very bland way to communicate, can be very useful in getting your intended message across. Examples of specific ways to ‘express’ oneself online include.

•  Flow of Ideas
• Spelling Errors
• Grammar Sophistication
• Spacing of Paragraphs
• Use of Quoted Text
• Caps Lock
• Emoticons 

Then there are the Visual Aids I mentioned before. Below is an example of one of my cards that I use often with clients.

As you can see, it works very well. If a client requires a special document, I can quickly make one up in paintbrush and upload it to SL. There are whiteboards in SL also, but I find that without a digital pen and pad, this gets tricky. Also, a paintbrush made .jpg allows you to send the file through email to the client for later reference. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) requires a lot of visual aids when going through thoughts, behaviours, feelings etc, and how they all relate to each other. 

Of course, let’s not forget good old counselling skills. They are just as effective in SL/Online as they are in RL. This includes: Paraphrasing, Reflection of Feeling, Reflection of Meaning, Disclosure, Consequences, Active Listening through the use of Encouragers (Examples --*nods*, yes, right, okay), Summarising etc --I’m sure you don’t need me to list them all as there are so many.

I use a lot of clarification phrases  online as to make sure that any messages are not lost in translation, if I didn’t hear the client properly,  I may use metaphors and analogies to try and clarify exactly what they mean. It is possible to get accurate representations of your meaning and the clients meaning across to each other, and it's because of this that online therapy has a bright future. 

Well, my cup is empty and none of us like blogs that drag on. For now, I’m just touching on general ideas, later I will review specifics.

Have a wonderful day!

Difficult Personalities in Online Text-Counselling

Greetings,

This morning as I peer sleepily at my screen over a steaming cup of sweet chai tea, the first of eight for the day *grins*, I consider what challenges I've faced in online therapy over the past five years. I thought to myself, 'what type of client has proved to be the most difficult?'

It seems obvious that someone with a difficult personality would be challenging to work with through any medium whether that be face-to-face, online, telephone etc, but I think that the online medium intensifies the difficulties faced by therapists with this style of client. I'm reminded of a few cases, which I can not talk about in specifics, but they certainly had a few things in common. (And boy did I learn some lessons :))

1. The clients were demanding.
2. The clients were highly reactive to all their emotions (often threatening to self-harm).
3. The clients were unpredictable and attention seeking.

Your first thought might be 'well, set some boundaries then?' And this would be an excellent point, but when those boundaries conflict with deeply established maladaptive patterns of behaviour (patterns now firmly a part of the personality) this requires time and awareness on the clients part in order for those patterns to be altered.

The obvious question to ask now, is 'how does online counselling (in text) creates further difficulty for this style of client?' The first thing that pops into my, now awake, mind is emailing. The client has a constant link to you, your email.

In a physical setting, you most likely have a receptionist or an answering machine, something you probably won't check several times a day (Well maybe you do?). My point is, email makes getting in contact with you ethically questionable. The difficult client can send you emails about ending their life, self-harm, or anything else that goes on in their day that they deem necessary for you to know about. With messages like this in your inbox, you may be left feeling a little concerned or worried -- well, I would certainly hope so! Of course, your training may have taught you that you should call the police or contact the client directly. What happens if they're overseas? Do you call their phone (if you have that number)? If they're anonymous, how much are you responsible for if something happens to them and you were the last to be informed?

These are all challenging questions to answer.

As I said in my previous blog, you do what you can. The only way clients learn boundaries, is through consistency. Supportive consistency. Address the issue with the client, establish consequences for the continued behaviour in the next session.  I don't mean you should threaten to withdraw your support, even if the client is making it difficult for you to help them, the threat of withdrawing support is not helpful whatsoever. I have dealt with this style of client by bringing up a modified version of "The Boy who Cried Wolf." Clients are usually aware that they go through emotional crises which are not always life threatening, make a plan for them that doesn't involve sending you emails (coping skills!). If the client doesn't use these coping skills then that needs to be addressed also. Finally, the best way to ensure you do not put yourself in this situation in the first place is to Screen your clients. And I say it again, Screen your clients! In the few instances where I have agreed to work with these types of clients, I made sure that they would work on their issues and that they would do their homework -- and they did. They demonstrated great enthusiasm to change, and this is the first thing I look for in my clients before I take them on. Deeply ingrained maladaptive coping skills, with hard work, can be changed. The client is more likely to change if they are willing to change. Sometimes these types of clients have terrible living conditions with little social support, and in this case you can make a huge impact on this persons life, whether they are difficult or not.

Know your limitations in this online context. Set your boundaries. Take your time testing whether you can help your clients. Lastly, risk/reward. Will you be putting yourself at risk for a client that you will probably not be able to help? Then don't do it. Helping others requires that we as therapist give so much of our own energy, if you exhaust that energy supply, you and your clients will be affected.

Now, time for a refill.